• xiarad

Beware of Destination Addiction.

Do you often find yourself wanting to accomplish your next goal before executing your current goal? Or rather, are you so consumed with the future version of yourself that you ignore your current self? More importantly, are you forgetting that you prayed to be exactly where you are now? If you align with any of these questions, then I suggest that you continue reading as you may be a victim of something known as Destination Addiction.

Goal digger.

I know for a fact that I suffer from Destination Addiction – the belief that success or happiness is a destination. I have an unhealthy pattern of constantly being on the run, on the go, and living life to get to the end of it. I'm always making goals just to reach the end of the goal and not being satisfied. I rarely ever savor my current moments because instead, I am looking for the next moment. I am constantly planning the next step of my life. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with planning your life. I mean, without goals, how do we intend to better ourselves? Therefore, I'm always looking for the next thing. But I've learned that always looking for the next thing can become an unhealthy habit of looking at life. If I'm always worried about the next job, place, partner, goal, etc.–how can I be grateful of where I currently am?

For those whom may or may not know, I am currently in the final semester of my Master's program where I will finally obtain my degree this upcoming May. While progressing through my final year, I have thoroughly prepared myself for the next step which consisted of applying to a few Ph.D. programs within my field. Thanks to my meticulous planning, hard work, and my faith in God, I have received multiple acceptances into the doctoral programs that I have applied to. This has been a looooong journey and I am filled with so much joy and gratitude to be in a position where I am actually typing these words. God is so good!

Since receiving the news, I've been fully focused on all of the details that consist of my next step. Such as deciding which program I'm going to attend; where I'm going to move; how will I move; will I need an additional job to cover rent; how many years will it take to complete the program(s); what I'm going to wear for my doctoral degree pictures in a few years; etc. As you can see, I've been so consumed with the details of my next, potential destination that I barely even bothered to be mindful of my current destination – graduating from my Master's program.

If I recall my first blog post, First of All, I'm Not Supposed to Be Here, I literally PRAYED to be in the exact position that I am in right now. Yet here I am, in answered prayers, not acknowledging where I asked to be. Although I am extremely happy to know my next move post-graduation, it is essential that I take moments to acknowledge and remind myself of where I currently am.

Moments of mindfulness.

Taking moments to remind yourself that you are standing in answered prayers is a form of mindfulness. Every day, I try to incorporate these moments in between my daily activities as an act of being present. I celebrate myself for defending my thesis (the final step of acquiring my degree) by treating myself to whatever I may be feeling that day, in that moment. I'm having an in-person graduation so I make myself excited by finding cute grad outfits. At first, I didn't plan to have a grad photoshoot because I honestly didn't feel like putting much thought into it. But I reminded myself that I should celebrate this moment! And I may regret not taking grad pics in the future. I desired to be more present.

We have to find a balance of preparing for our next destination while also being mindful of where we currently are. If you are always worried about the next move, you will never be satisfied nor happy. Until you give up the idea that happiness is in the next place, it will never be where you are. So give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else. Now again, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't look forward to the next thing or that you shouldn't have goals. But I encourage you to take moments to be present.

There have been many prayers where you've asked God to place you in the position that you are in today and He has done just that. Don't allow Destination Addiction to consume your life. Don't allow it cause you to rush through as many experiences as quickly as possible. You don't have to be in a certain place or at a certain age to be happy; you can choose to be happy now. A lot of us may think that the grass is greener somewhere else but Xi's Essentials is here to remind you that the grass is green wherever you water it.

"Always hold fast to the present. Every situation, indeed every moment, is of infinite value, for it is the representative of a whole eternity.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Xi’s Takeaway Essentials:

  • Destroy the idea that success or happiness is a destination.

  • Practice ways to be more mindful and present.

  • Don't live your life only to get to the end of it. Live now.